An Unkindness of Ravens
by BroodyOTH3
Summary: A rewrite of Miss Meehan's story, written with her permission. Dive deeper into how Lucas recovers from the tragedy. MM, Lathan. Warning, rape.
1. In A World Come Undone At The Seams

Hey guys! I recently read Miss Meehan's An Unkindness of Ravens, and decided to delve farther into it. This rewrite will be about 20 chapters long. I do have permission from Miss Meehan and her writing partner. All credits for plot go to her. The beginning will be about the same as the other version, but then it will break off and go deeper into the healing portion and Lucas getting his justice. Hope you like. Luvs, Kendall

Relaxation…

Breathing in and out…in and out…all without worry…

That was how Lucas Scott felt at that moment. Complete relaxation. It was finally the weekend.

No more Hellish basketball practices with Whitey's yelling, and the rest of the team's attempts to get him off of the team. No more trying to keep his lust for his half-brother under control in the locker room.

Well, at least not until Monday, when it all would start over again.

All the homework…

All the hellish basketball practice...

All the tiring hiding…

Yeah, Lucas was well aware that he was gay, and he had long since accepted it. He only really hoped that when he mustered up his courage, that his mother, uncle, and Haley understood. He wasn't really concerned about anyone else.

Except Nathan.

Lucas's self-conscience was mocking him and his completely wrong and incestuous fantasy about his younger by 3 months half-brother.

Lucas could feel the relaxation slipping from his body, and his heart beat began to go rapid at the thoughts of Nathan. He thought of Nathan's perfectly chiseled body, and how when he made a shot in basketball, his shirt rode up a bit to reveal his beautiful abs. And he thought of those perfect brunette locks of hair that framed his face perfectly.

His body was now rigid at these thoughts, and his breathing was getting shallower by the second. He always grew nervous when he thought of Nathan.

"Breathe Lucas…in and out…in and out…relax…"

It was a Friday night, and he was going to a movie with Haley. No homework till Sunday night. And no Nathan to hide your lust over.

Relaxation soothed his stiff muscles again as he walked down the alley between the movie theatre and the used book store. It was such a nice quiet night.

"Lucas!" A low male voice echoed off of the brick walls next to him. It didn't sound like any of the guys from the River court. But it did sound familiar. It was probably just another kid from school wanting to congratulate him for last weeks basketball game where he made the winning shot.

On instinct, he turned around, ready to give his usual, "Hey, thanks."

But before he got a chance to identify the person who had called his name, a heavy burlap sack was thrust over his head and held tightly.

Instinctively, Lucas began yelling pleas through the burlap sack, but it was no use, his voice was severely muffled due to the heavy bag. He grew even more frightened when he felt his arms being forcefully yanked behind his back, and then secured with what felt like a rough rope.

He only heard whispered of his captors, but it was enough to recognize what this was. This was another hazing attempt. And these captors were some of Nathan's lackeys from the basketball team. The only strange thing though, was why he didn't hear Nathan's voice mixed in with the other boys'.

The vehicle that he was in began moving, and Lucas's fear grew, knowing that whatever they were going to do to his was not going to be friendly.

Hours seemed to crawl by as Lucas lay on the floor of the car, violently bound by rope. His feet were worthless considering that they were held immobile by someone's large meaty hands.

The brakes of the car squeaked to a stop, and the engine was cut off, it was then that Lucas realized that they had arrived at their destination.

The sliding door of what Lucas assumed was a mini van opened, and he heard some of the mixed giggles and taunts off the boys as he felt his bound arms being grabbed, and he was dragged out of the car and to his feet.

His fear was multiplied ten fold as he felt the boys throw him violently to the ground and began kicking him. Lucas was fully prepared for an ass whipping by these guys, knowing that it would be their final card on the table to get him to quit the team. But he would show them that he could handle an ass whipping and that they couldn't get him to quit the team.

But then the kicking ceased, and Lucas curiously began wiggling to see if he could unbind himself. But it was no use, the ropes that had him tied were tight.

One word was heard before the real torture began.

"Faggot!"

The boys then began stripping him of his clothing, ripping his shirt of and leaving him on the ground with no shirt.

He felt one of the boys start to rake his hands across his chest and find his nipples before twisting them and causing an agonizing pain.

Paralysis overtook his body as he felt his jeans being unbuttoned and unzipped. He couldn't call out to stop what was happening to him. And when he felt his baggy jeans and his boxers being dragged down his legs, he began to scream through the burlap sack and he began thrashing to stop the torture that he was sure that was coming.

He continued screaming and thrashing until a boot clad foot came down forcefully on his bag covered head. He stopped screaming due to the foot threatening to break his nose, but he kept moving and thrashing as to hold on to his life. But that struggle too, was quickly ceased as a well placed kick was landed on his stomach that knocked the air of his lungs for many seconds.

Those seconds of immobility cost Lucas more than he knew. The jeans and boxers were then ripped the rest of the way down his legs, and his shoes and socks were removed, leaving Lucas completely nude, save for ropes and a burlap sack.

Arms captured his arms and drug him to his knees, and before he could fathom what was happening, he was thrown forward and made harsh contact with the metal of the car, and held there.

The rustle of clothes being discarded and zippers of jeans filled Lucas's ears as he tried to figure out how this had happened. How had he gone from complete relaxation, to this Hell?

He was completely devastated, as he was sure that Nathan was behind this charade. He was almost what he could call, in love with Nathan. And Nathan was setting up his molestation, or maybe even, rape.

At this point, when he heard the intimidating sound of foil packs being ripped open, he was sure that they were going to go as far as to rape him.

As he was slammed forward at the force of the fist violation, Lucas grunted at the extreme pain.

"One raven, two ravens, three ravens, four."

Lucas kept whispering between grunts and tears, still not believing what was happening. More and more boys kept violating him, and he kept repeating his mantra, trying to take his shattered soul from the torture.

"Five ravens, six ravens, seven ravens, more."

Eventually, the rapists tired out. They pushed the tainted Lucas to the ground, which was not a tough task, considering that the only thing holding him up was the rough arms, and the side of the car.

Lucas was completely unresponsive as the boys dragged him to the little creek a few feet away, and tossed him in with out taking the bag off of his head, or removing the rope that bound his wrists.

As the final insult to his being, all of the boys gathered their clothes and Lucas's clothes, and drove off, leaving Lucas to groan and wriggle in the shallow creek, completely traumatized and pained.

After laying in the creek for almost ten minutes, trying to gather himself, Lucas struggled to stand up and did not achieve. He settled sadly for just shuffling on his knees, eventually out of the pond.

Lucas caught on to the fact that no one was there anymore, and decided to uncover his stifled head from the burlap sack. He felt lower than low as he shook his head relentlessly to get his head free.

His worst fears were confirmed as he saw his surroundings. He didn't know where the hell that he was.

Gingerly, he attempted to stand up again, trying to get his bearings in the complete dark. But once again he failed, falling back down onto the unforgiving ground.

He bit back sobs as he lay there on the ground, feeling so dirty inside and out. His body and spirit were shattered.

Lucas had eventually lost time of how long he had been out here, trying not to cry. He couldn't stop repeating his little saying in his head.

"One raven, two ravens, three ravens, four."

How was he supposed to go on, they had killed his spirit with each continual violation and each push into the hard metal of the car? How was he supposed to deal with his first love probably raping him? And getting his buddies to help out?

"Five ravens, six ravens, seven ravens, more."


	2. You Bleed Just To Know You're Alive

I Don't Own Anything. All plot credits go to Miss Meehan. Warning: contains mentions of rape.

Chapter 2

The party was in full swing as Nathan stepped into the house of one of his friends. He observed the party and the party goers, and came to the conclusion that this party was definitely lamer than the parties that he threw weekly.

It was a Friday night, and Nathan had just finished his tutoring with Haley. He had wanted her to stay longer, but she insisted that she and Lucas had plans to see a movie tonight.

Nathan could still feel the jealousy burning in the back of his throat.

He knew that he could easily knock back a few beers and try to forget the betrayal that he had felt. But he didn't. Nathan had felt a new sense of responsibly since he had started tutoring with Haley. It was his yearning to show Haley that he could change and that he could be a good guy that had made him grab the Pepsi out of the fridge, rather than the bottle of beer.

As he scanned the party, Nathan noticed a few usual partiers were missing.

Tim and about 5 other guys who were the avid partiers were currently not attending this bash. Which was odd considering that they brag every week at practice that they went to every big party this year!

"Hey man, do you know where Tim, Vegas, and the rest of the guys are?" Nathan asked the guy who was hosting the party, and was a member of the basketball team.

"Uh, I don't know. I haven't seen them here tonight." The jock said as he turned back to the girl who was practically having sex with him on the dance floor.

At first, Nathan wasn't too worried that his comrades hadn't shown up. He figured that after he had called off tonight's hazing fun, that they were probably sulking at a bar about their lost opportunity to 'show the half-breed where he belonged'.

About two weeks ago, right after Haley had started tutoring him, Nathan had suggested a kidnapping. All they were really going to do was kidnap Lucas, drive him out to the old creek that they used for all the final player initiations, and basically scare the living crap out of the guy.

But Nathan understood that Lucas meant a lot to Haley, and if he was going to ever have a sliver of a chance with her, that he would have to cut out all of this hazing crap. Also meaning that the kidnapping that was going to go down tonight, had also been canceled.

Deciding that there was nothing he could do about finding Tim and the guys right now, Nathan sat down on the couch with his Pepsi, relaxing and watching the mindless party goers.

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Almost an hour later, Nathan had just been getting ready to leave the party, thinking it was boring and was nothing special. But just as he was throwing away his third Pepsi, he heard an extra set of noises.

It was voices, and loud laughter. And it sounded like Tim and the guys.

Nathan strutted over to the entryway of the house, wondering what was going on. He stood in the entryway, undetected as he listened to the guys brag about something that did tonight.

"You should have heard his screams, the fag sounded like a little girl. 'No! Don't do it! Please don't hurt me!' It was hilarious...Yeah, we left him there...and we took his clothes...I think the little bastard cried..."

Nathan was quite disturbed at the statements coming from his team mates. And the last sentence made Nathan crack. He had to figure what was going on.

He rushed forward and grabbed Tim's collar, pushing him forcefully against the wall.

"Hey man! What's your problem?" Tim tried to push back and free himself from Nathan's hold, but Nathan's muscles were too strong to get any slack.

"What were you just talking about? What did you do tonight?" Nathan slammed his team mate against the wall with every sentence, hoping to get his threatening message across.

"Dude, Nate, chill...me and the guys just went out to show the half-breed that he had no business on the team. We thought that since you were busy tonight with the Virgin Mary that we would go ahead and finish the deed." Tim said, causing the rest of the boys in the room to start giggling like little girls.

"What did you do to Lucas tonight? Where the hell is he?" Nathan yelled in Tim's face, hoping that they hadn't done anything too extreme, ruining his chance with Haley.

He knew that Haley would blame him too, even though he had not been there. He had been the one to originally suggest the kidnapping.

"Well Nate, me and the guys didn't know that you held a torch for your bastard brother." Nathan grew angry at the sarcastic tone that his best friend was giving him. Getting sick of Tim talking in riddles, Nathan launched his fist forward, slamming it into the jaw of Tim.

"Ahhggg...What the hell is your problem Nate? We did what you had planned in the first place." Tim yelled back at Nathan, wondering what had so drastically changed in him. Earlier, his attitude had been to destroy the bastard, and get him off the team, and he was pulling out all of the stops to humiliate his half-brother. But now it was like Lucas was his number one advocate.

"Where did you take him? Tell me WHERE!" Nathan yelled as loud as he could at Tim. He had no idea where this was coming from. Because not even Haley could get this big of a reaction out of him. Normally he would just give Tim a pat on the back, and the group would go get drunk.

Where was all this worry for Lucas coming from?

Nathan passed it off as just brotherly intuition that had surfaced from being around Lucas finally after all these years.

For the first time, Nathan just looked in Tim's eyes, and saw actual fear. Tim, fearing his life, he began stuttering out words.

"The old creek that we always went to… That's where he is..." Nathan, satisfied with the answer, shoved Tim away from him. He quickly rushed to his car, and began the familiar drive to the old creek.

On his way, driving on the back roads of Tree Hill, Nathan was concentrated on getting to Lucas as fast as he could, when suddenly...

Nathan stomped on the brakes of his SUV, bringing the vehicle to a screeching stop in the middle of the road. Luckily, there was no one else on the road so Nathan was completely alone.

"What the hell am I doing?" Nathan yelled to himself as he watched the road in front of him. Since when did he punch his best friend, yell at his friends, and leave a party, just so he could go save his brother from humiliation?

"Haley will love you for sure if you go rescue Lucas and take him home. This is your chance to show her that you are really a good guy. Yeah, that's it." Nathan told himself as he shoved the doubts away and continued to drive.

Once he reached the creek, he stopped his car and pulled a flashlight from the middle compartment of his car and stepped out. Secretly, he prayed that Lucas wasn't here, and it was all some sort of joke. But his brotherly senses told him that it wasn't, and he was going to find Lucas here.

Hearing a rustle of sound, and a meek, pained cry, Nathan turned around and found his brother.

"Oh God..."

--------------------------

Lucas was still laying on the wet muddy ground, feeling like he had been ripped in half, and wanting to crawl over to the creek and sink his head until he passed out, successfully easing his pain. If he wasn't in too much pain to make even small movements, he would.

He was cold, shivering helplessly, which was agitating his injuries. It was the beginning of October, and all of the traces of summer were gone, including all of the warm air.

Minutes after his assailants had left with his clothes, dignity, spirit, and self-esteem, Lucas had dry heaved for 5 long, hellish minutes. The vomit that he so desperately wanted to expel just wouldn't come. Almost like he couldn't expel the dirtiness from his soul now. It was forever tainted.

Lucas could feel his ears perk up as he heard a disturbance in the silence of his surroundings. He could hear brakes screaming to a stop, and gravel being crunched under the tires.

Fear clouded his mind and vision.

"They're back...No, they can't be back...Please, SOMEONE, help me! Don't let them hurt me, please..." Lucas's mind screamed. He didn't have the strength to open his mouth and scream for help.

A flood of light blanketed the ground around Lucas, and as soon as he worked up every ounce of courage that hadn't been ripped from him, he opened his eyes that had previously been squeezed tight.

The sight before him was more than frightening. His throat, which had been raw from screaming and crying into the burlap sack, finally found the strength to make sound.

A pained, weak whimper was his cry of pleading mercy. He couldn't form words from the fright and scarring forming in his soul.

Nathan was back! Why! Why did Nathan want to hurt him more? He loved Nathan, but Nathan rap..., he couldn't even think it yet, he was too disgusted with himself.

Threatening footsteps were coming closer as Lucas tried to curl into a defensive ball, he couldn't let Nathan hurt him again. Never ever again.

"Oh God!" Were the words he heard before trying to wriggle away, while trying not to agitate his blood starved wrists and hands and his whole damaged body.

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"Oh God..." Nathan rushed forward to the figure ahead of him. It was barely recognizable from the mud staining its body, and because its face was being hidden in its chest.

"Lucas!" Nathan yelled and rushed over, not realizing that sharp quick movements and loud voices were not the greatest plan for getting close to Lucas.

Nathan immediately halted his movements as he saw Lucas try to squirm away and let sadder sounds come from his throat. It was then that he noticed that Lucas was completely naked, and his wrists were bound tightly around his back.

A gasp was caught in the back of his throat when he saw the profound welts on all the wrong places on Lucas's body. There was no way that they would do this. Was there? All of the pieces fit together, but he couldn't believe that his friends would take a simple hazing ritual that was meant to welcome someone to a team, to this extreme. To attack someone in this horrible of a way, when all it was meant to be was just to scare the shit out of someone.

"No...Please stay away..." He was brought out of his introspection by Lucas's hoarse voice trying to yell pleas of mercy. Nathan finally saw his brother's face, his previously bright blue eyes, seemed to darken, like the life was sucked out of him from the attack.

"No Luke, I'm not going to..." He tried to reason with his brother who was squirming against his restraints and hurting himself even more than he already was.

"Not again, don't hurt me again. Stay away from me." The pleas were hardly audible considering Lucas's voice was cracking and breaking at every other syllable.

Nathan stopped all of his movements, shocked. Lucas actually thought that he had done this, that he was there and that he had encouraged the attack. In reality, he had been the one to suggest the original plan.

But those little plans had never included a gang rape. All he was really going to do was drive him out there, scare the shit out of him, and tell him that the hazing was over. He'd never said that he would welcome Lucas with open arms, but he was going to stop all of this nonsense for the best for the team.

"Luke, man, I know what happened to you...I know what the guys did, I just want to help you..." Nathan began moving forward again, trying to make his movements a bit more graceful to not startle Lucas into a coma of shock. But he was still a jock, and not strutting was tough for him.

As Nathan got closer to Lucas, he lowered the flashlight to seem less intimidating. About two feet away from his brother, he could see through the darkness, Lucas shaking his head violently, and saying no in a hoarse, broken voice. He began worrying when the shaking grew so violent, that Lucas's head began making solid contact with the ground.

What a conundrum that Nathan was in. He had two choices, either he could be cautious about touching his extremely vulnerable brother, and let him give himself a concussion, or he could throw it all to the wind and maybe get those restraints off his wrists.

He chose the second one. Nathan Scott was not what you would call a cautious person.

Nathan dropped to his knees behind Lucas and seized him, trying to keep him from giving himself impending brain damage.

Lucas was shaking fiercely within his arms, and Nathan couldn't tell if it was from shivering, or from insufferable fear. Once Nathan had gotten him to cease the violent movements, he could feel Lucas's fear of being touched, or even held. Nathan felt like he was holding a new born baby with his fear of hurting it with his large muscular arms. As he heard Lucas's pained groans again, he was frightened that he was the one hurting his brother, so he did the only thing that registered in his head. He let go of Lucas and let him drop the few inches back on the ground.

What should he do now? When he had been driving here, he'd just expected to find Lucas maybe tied to a tree, or just stranded, but he had never thought that he would find this monstrosity, to find Lucas this damaged, physically and mentally. And because he never thought of that, he didn't know what to do now.

Should he take Lucas to the hospital and get him treated for all of his injuries? Should he take him to his mother's house where he was sure that Karen was worrying at this moment? Or should he take him back to the beach house and try to play nurse?

He was broken out of his next course of action by looking down at his brother, who was staring up at him with eyes that looked like a small child's. He could see the vulnerability and could hear him whispering something that he could not fully make out.

That's it; he was taking Lucas back to his house.

"Lucas, I'm going to help you stand up, okay?" Nathan kneeled next to Lucas, faintly hearing what the boy was saying. He could hear the word 'ravens' repeatedly, and it disturbed and angered him.

"Stop hurting me...please..." Nathan shook his head in frustration as he listened to his brother plead with him. He was so pissed at Tim and the rest of the team at that moment, wondering how they could take a simple prank and turn it into a brutal attack and rape.

"No Lucas, I want you to listen to me, I am going to untie your wrists, okay? It's going to hurt a little bit, but I'm not trying to hurt you. If you stop moving, it will hurt less." Nathan tried to explain nicely to the traumatized teen laying in front of him, but who was he kidding? He sucked at this mothering thing.

Lucas was listening to every single word that Nathan was saying through his mantra, all the while, trying to stay away from Nathan. He couldn't take this close contact, not with his attacker. It was just too painful.

He had tried to get away from Nathan, and he had even begged for Nathan to have some mercy on him, but Nathan just seemed to be intent on hurting him more.

As he felt the ropes on his wrists tighten a small bit, his eyes opened wide in shock. It was going to happen again. His mind was willing his body to subject to the torture again, and just block out any and all pain and humiliation. But Lucas was too frightened to have it happen again.

Lucas began to subtly squirm under Nathan's hands, which he thought were the one's binding him even tighter. One Raven, Two Ravens, Three Ravens, Four...

"Lucas, stop moving man, it'll only hurt more if you keep squirming." Nathan was trying to be kind when he spoke, but his rough and tough exterior was preventing him from not scaring Lucas to the point of physical shock.

If Lucas hadn't been so traumatized, he might have laughed at that comment. But only angry, bitter thoughts came forward. Nathan was never concerned whether it hurt him when he was being...attacked.

As he felt his wrists continually being manipulated, Lucas started attempting to go back to that safe little place in his mind. The one where he didn't have to feel the pain of being relentlessly violated. Five Ravens, Six Ravens, Seven Ravens, more...

Lucas had been so concentrated on escaping from the pain, that he didn't even notice when the heavy ropes that had bound his wrists were removed, meaning that he didn't hear Nathan's gasp of disgust at the poor state of the appendages.

Nathan felt a small sense of triumph when the ropes went loose from his brother. But soon after the ropes were removed, and the skin under was revealed, he grew solemn again.

Underneath the ropes revealed severely damaged skin. The bruises were already some what developed, and they were turning ugly shades of color that skin should never be. He couldn't see the extent of the damage from the lack of light in the area, and he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to.

Immediately, as soon as Lucas felt his aching wrists removed from their bonds, he jerked them in front of his body in a form of self-defense. It was only when he felt his arms scream in protest at the quick movement did he realize that it was a bad idea. His whole body ached and burned, and his shoulders were very sore from being held and bound behind his back for God knows how long.

Nathan watched his brother writhe before him, with his hands in front of his body as if he were to protect himself from all of the things that had hurt and violated him that night.

He was stumped as to what he should do to get Lucas to the car and take him home. Lucas had made it very clear that any touching was out of the question, and he couldn't seem to get it through Lucas's head that he wasn't there to hurt him.

Looking down at Lucas, Nathan saw that his brother was studying his every move, terror permanently etched into those blue orbs of his.

Unknowing to Nathan, a spark was ignited in his soul at that very moment as he stared into the eyes that mirrored his own. He could feel something change in his heart and soul, but he couldn't pinpoint the emotion.

As Nathan continued staring into Lucas's memorable pained eyes, a plan formed in his head. He hoped that it worked, because it seemed to be his last hope.

"I won't hurt you Luke. The only thing I want to do is help you. Please let me help you, I need you to trust me." Nathan repeated in a soft soothing tone before standing up slowly to not startle Lucas into a coma of shock.

Slowly, Nathan began walking towards his car, hoping that Lucas's human instincts of survival would provoke him to follow him to the car. And even though he knew that Lucas had no reason to follow his accused rapist into a car, he relied simply on praying that Lucas would at least want a ride home.

A few feet away from his car, Nathan turned around slowly, and to his relief, saw Lucas gingerly standing up right, his arms still crossed over his chest. He noticed that once his brother had caught him watching, Lucas stopped in his tracks, his expression unreadable in the late night darkness.

Feeling slightly guilty, Nathan turned around again, and completed the last few feet to the car, and opened the back seat door for his brother.

Once inside, Nathan listened to the light footsteps that his brother was making. It took all of his self restraint not to watch Lucas make his way slowly over to the car. He didn't even know why all of a sudden he was so obsessed with Lucas, and making sure he was safe.

It was almost ironic, he was the little brother, but he was the one taking the initiative to take care of the big brother. But somehow, Nathan liked it that way, and he didn't know why.

Lucas knew it was not the smartest thing in the world. That following the man that he was sure had had a hand in raping him to his car was just setting himself up for was probably just more pain.

But he couldn't help it. He was just too attached to Nathan; he loved him too much to be left behind once again.

Certain sadness had swelled inside Lucas as he saw his brother stand up and turn around. He didn't want to watch Nathan walk away from him, and be left here all alone without a clue as to where he was.

His heart was telling him to follow Nathan to his car, take the opportunity at hand. But at the same time his mind was telling him to let Nathan leave, and that Nathan was the one that hurt him and hated him.

Now normally in Lucas's life, his mind won over his heart. Like in the showers, when Lucas's heart was telling him to stare at his brother, and then walk over and tell him exactly how his felt. Then his head would tell him to keep his eyes to himself, and if he told Nathan how he felt, then he would probably get his ass kicked by every single guy on the team.

After waging the war within him, Lucas finally decided to give his heart a chance at decision making. He just hoped that giving his heart this chance wouldn't result in further destruction of his trust in people.

Mustering up his all of whatever hadn't been taken from him mentally that night, Lucas stood up very hesitantly. All of his limbs hurt miserably, and as he peered down at his body, his shame increased ten fold.

He was ugly; Nathan would never love him like this. In his mind, he emitted a hoarse sob, wondering why.

Why did Nathan do this to him? Why did he deserve this? Why did he have to fall in love with his brother of all people? Why wouldn't his brother love him back?

Each step that Lucas took was extremely cautious and slow. He was half expecting Nathan to turn around and ask him what the hell he was doing.

His shallow labored breathing and his extreme heartbeat were the only things he could hear as he looked forward and saw Nathan turn his way.

As painful as it was, Lucas stopped in his tracks as he saw the blue eyes he fell in love with turn to watch him.

"Here it comes…" He thought. "He's going to tell me to go away, and that he never wants to see me again. I don't think I can take it; I might fall over and die of heartbreak."

Those blue eyes seemed to illuminate in the darkness, and as he noticed how stupid he looked, just standing there naked, staring at his brother, Lucas reverted his eyes to the hard ground he had been thrown on before, and adjusted his hands to hide all of his inappropriate places.

Time seemed to stop as Lucas waited and waited for Nathan to insult him in someway, whether it is to get lost, or some callous 'bastard' comment. But it never happened, Lucas let out the breath that he had been holding as he saw Nathan turn back around and continue his way to the car.

The next thing he saw was Nathan opening the back door of the car. This action shocked Lucas. Did this mean that Nathan really wanted him to come along with him? Or did this mean that Nathan was going to hurt him again.

Lucas really wanted to believe that Nathan was just going to take him somewhere safe, away from the world, but his head was getting in the way again. It was saying that he shouldn't do it, that Nathan was only going to attack him again.

Once he reached the opening of the car door, Lucas hesitated. This was it, he was either going to forever regret getting into this car, or it will be one of the best decisions that he ever made. He let his heart make the decision again.

Inside the car, he felt like a dirty intruder. He was muddy, filthy and damaged, physically and mentally, and he didn't deserve to be in a luxury vehicle like this. He would only make it dirty like he was.

"Lucas, I am going to take you to the hospital, okay?" Nathan adapted his soothing voice again, hoping it would calm Lucas enough to be able to help him.

A moan of protest made Nathan pause at he started up the engine of the car. Slowly, hoping not to alarm Lucas with sharp movements, he turned around and gave Lucas a questioning look.

"Please, don't take me to the hospital. I…I don't want anyone to know…" Lucas clarified in a dry frightened tone. His voice was hoarse and throaty from his fear.

Nathan nodded, not even attempting to put up a fight that it was what was best for Lucas. He feared that once the rape was reported to the hospital, that the cops could become involved and that the blame could eventually be traced back to him. He knew it was incredibly selfish, and not only would the hospital be able to heal him physically, but they could also help him mentally. But it came down to the fact that Nathan had to watch his own skin too.

"Okay then, I'm going to take you to your mom then, I'm sure she's worried." Nathan heard a hitch in Lucas's shallow breathing at that suggestion too. He wondered what was wrong with this suggestion, because he had been sure that Lucas wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed, even if it was doubtful that he would be doing any sleeping.

"No, I don't want her to see me like this, she'll hate me. I can't have her hate me." Lucas was mumbling incessantly. He didn't want his mother to think that he was filthy and tainted, even if he was. She was the only one that he could really count on, and he would never be able to take her rejection.

"Okay, I'll think of somewhere to take you. Try to rest." Nathan said, slightly annoyed that he was now completely responsible for a sixteen year old boy that was in the mentality of a six year old.

Nathan decided that he would just take him to the beach house for the night. He couldn't very well dump him on the first park bench he came to, and he couldn't take him to the main house, because somehow, he wasn't sure how kindly Dan would take to having his illegitimate son show up on his doorstep unexpectedly, no matter how damaged Lucas was.

As the pair arrived at the beach house, Nathan could easily tell that Lucas was frightened to arrive at a place that had been the root of a few plots of humiliation against him.

"No, please not here. Anything but here; they're here." Lucas's voice was eerily low and scared.

Nathan was growing annoyed almost, and if he didn't care so much all of a sudden about Lucas's safety, physically and mentally, then he would have already abandoned Lucas and gone to bed.

He knew exactly who 'they' were. It was Lucas's rapists, who had many times been seen at this very beach house. He just wasn't sure how he could convince Lucas that they weren't here, and that it was completely safe.

"Lucas, listen to me. They aren't here. They are back at their own houses, and they won't come here. You are completely safe, they can't touch you here." Nathan turned around to see Lucas sitting in the back seat, curled up into the smallest ball possible, almost as if he were trying to be so small that he didn't exist anymore.

"Trust me Luke." Nathan said soothingly, even though he knew that Lucas really had no good reason to trust him. From the harsh hazing rituals that he had inflicted on Lucas, to the fact that Lucas was still under the impression that he was the one that had raped him.

Nathan turned around and got out of the car, and opening up the back door of the car to give his brother a small amount of encouragement to follow him into the house.

He figured that he would follow the same strategy as he had done at the creek; coaxing Lucas to follow him by leaving him somewhere, and praying to all higher powers that his brother would follow.

As soon as Nathan got to the porch of the beach house, he was hit with the surprise of the porch light coming on. Needless to say, it startled him.

But as soon as he got over the initial shock, his worries went elsewhere.

What if one of the neighbors woke up and looked out the window to see his naked brother slowly making his way up the drive way? They would surely call and complain to Dan, and he was pretty sure that his father would not take kindly to reports of his naked illegitimate son, walking on his property. It didn't matter how damaged the boy was.

Nathan turned around to see if Lucas was even following him. And when he did, he saw that Lucas was only a few mere feet behind him. Apparently, Lucas had been following closer than he thought.

It had hardly even occurred to Nathan about his brother's state of dress until he could see him in all of his glory. He grimaced, but tried not to show it and further upset his vulnerable brother even more.

"Don't worry about it Lucas, it's just the motion sensor. Come on Luke." Nathan spoke to his brother, who looked like he was a deer in headlights at the sudden abrupt light.

Lucas turned his head and trained his eyes to stare at the ground in shame. He didn't mean to be so edgy, especially over some insignificant sensor light, but he couldn't help it. He really couldn't after what had happened tonight. Now Nathan probably thought of him as a jumpy dork.

He watched as Nathan took the key from under the door mat to unlock the luxurious house. As the frilly mahogany door was opened, and the lavish crystal chandelier was lit, Lucas's nerves returned full force.

Nathan stepped into the house, and threw off his muddy shoes, and looked back at his brother once more.

Lucas was staring at the concrete of the porch fearfully, and in the light of the chandelier, he could see the extent of the damage done to his brother, and it was sickening.

The bruises and welts decorated his body terribly, and he could see the dried specks of blood on Lucas's wrist. The one thing that caught him the most off guard though, was his brother's eyes.

The cobalt blue eyes that he would unconsciously admire from a distance were dead. They were dull and looked as if the life had been sucked out of them. And Lucas just didn't look the same having dull gray eyes, instead of lively blue ones.

Nathan shook his head internally, still in denial that his friends would do something so despicable to a human being. But there wasn't anything that he could do about them now, except clean up their mess and attempt to get Lucas back to a half stable state of mind.

"They're not here Lucas, I promise you. Come on." Nathan gave Lucas an encouraging smile, even though it was a fake smile, he was too angry to give a real smile.

Lucas looked up off the ground and peered inside the house, and found that it was indeed, empty. Tentatively, Lucas stepped into the threshold of the beach house.

Once Nathan closed the door behind him, Lucas's already rigid form stiffened ten fold, and his dull eyes began shifting quickly, scanning each doorway, searching for an escape if he needed.

A few moments later, Lucas moved from his firm spot against the door, looked towards all of the rooms on this floor, insuring that no one was there to hurt him.

"That's it, come on Lucas, let's clean you up." Nathan took Lucas's elbow lightly, not remembering that his brother hated being touched at this time.

He remembered though as soon as Lucas started kicking and hitting him. Nathan was tackled to the floor, and took several hits to different places on his body, and even sustained a bloody lip from Lucas.

"Why? Why did you do this to me Nathan? Why did you hurt me?" Lucas attempted to yell as well as he could with his horribly coarse voice.

At this point, he was lying on the hard wood floor in the entryway of his house, Lucas on top of him, punching his chest multiple times, and all the while repeating the same questions of why Nathan did this to him.

"Stop it! Damn Luke, I'm not going to hurt you." Those words didn't seem to have any effect on Lucas as he continued on with the attack against Nathan with full rage.

By the time Lucas had calmed down, he was still laying on Nathan, extremely exhausted, but still lightly pounding on Nathan's chest. Finally, Lucas stopped beating on his brother, and looked him in the eye.

"Why?" That moment broke Nathan's self-control. The sight of his older half-brother's teary faded blue eyes, staring into his own, asking why he had to be hurt so badly, made his soul break into two.

"I don't know Lucas, I'm sorry." Nathan knew that wasn't the answer that Lucas desired and needed, but it was the only answer he had at the time.

"I…" Lucas whispered, his whole body shaking with trauma, and his stomach turning violently from the continual thoughts of the violation and harm he had endured.

"I…I think I'm going to be sick." Lucas spoke quickly, his face turning from bright red from the exertion of hitting Nathan, to a pale hue of green.

Nathan immediately pointed to the open bathroom door with the light on. The weight on him disappeared quickly as he looked up and heard his distressed brother retching, and the gross sound of him puking.

Concerned, he got up and walked slowly the closet and grabbed some spare towels and a robe for Lucas, and then made his way to the bathroom, where he could still hear the heaves of his Lucas's agonizing nausea.

Lucas was hunched over the toilet, gripping the sides of it that the colors of his knuckles were matching the porcelain. He could feel the sticky sweat seeping down his face, and mixing with the unconscious tears that fell from his eyes.

At this point, there was nothing left in his stomach to purge, but he was still so nauseous, and each time he heaved, his empty stomach turned painfully. He was in so much pain with his head pounding, his stomach doing flips, and his whole physique was damaged from his earlier…attack…

Earlier, before Nathan had come, the only thing that Lucas had wanted to do was flush out his system of all the things that had been dealt upon him that night, he thought it would help. But now that he had expelled everything that could possibly come up, he was devastated to find that he hadn't been cleansed one bit.

No, this damage was much deeper, and would require a much deeper purging.

Lucas finally looked up from the bowl, and saw Nathan next to him, sporting a split lip, and a small encouraging smile.

"Here's a robe, and some towels. You can take a shower. I'll leave you alone." Nathan spoke, hanging the terry cloths on the rack, and backing out of the bathroom slowly, careful not to alarm Lucas.

Nathan closed the door behind him, and slid down to the floor, the frustration of the day finally catching up with him. He covered his face with his hands and let the thoughts of his brother's agony fill his mind. The expression that covered Lucas's face when he was asking why he had to be hurt, made tears form behind his eyes.

Thoughts of Tim and the rest of his teammates made something unspeakable spark in his soul. He made a solemn vow in himself. Those guys were going to pay. They were going to suffer for what they took from Lucas.

After Nathan shut the door, Lucas finally got the guts to stand up and look at himself in the mirror.

The first glance at his body was the biggest shock. He had hand shaped bruises around his hip area, and welts almost covered his whole middle area. The most upsetting thing though, was that he generally looked the same.

He had been expecting to see a completely different person, but no, it was just the same Lucas Scott to the naked eye. But Lucas knew different. He knew that he was dirty, his skin was dirty, his blood was dirty, and his soul was completely tainted.

Angrily, he stalked over to the shower and turned the water knob to the hottest temperature. He had to clean himself; he had to get rid of the filthiness in him.

Hastily, he stepped into the shower, and cringed at the steaming hot water, but just gritted his teeth and took the hot needles prickling every part of his anatomy.

Grabbing the royal blue rag off the rack in the shower, and the bar of soap right by it, Lucas lathered up the rag and began scrubbing his body as hard as he could. He just kept scrubbing and scrubbing, pressing down as hard as he could to try to get rid of his filthiness.

Nearly twenty minutes later, his strength, physically and mentally, and he collapsed on the floor of the tub, sobbing. His skin was rubbed raw, and looked like it would start bleeding at the touch, but Lucas didn't care. As far as he was concerned now, he was damaged goods. No one would ever love him, or look at him the same way again, including Nathan.

A hoarse mournful sob escaped his soul and racked his body. His life would never be the same again.


	3. The Night Goes On As I'm Fading Away

I don't own anything. Plot credits go to Miss Meehan

Warning: Contains mentions of rape and homosexuality. If you have a problem with these subjects, please do not read.

An Unkindness of Ravens

Chapter 3

"Mom, I'm fine. I promise that everything is okay..." Lucas's stressed voice could be heard echoing through out the large room in the Scott's beach house.

The facade of contentedness was fading fast as the woman on the other side of the phone continues persisting.

"I know Mom...I'll be home in the morning...I love you too."

Nathan peered into the room from the entry way. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but once he heard Lucas trying to convince his mother that he was in face okay, he couldn't help but satisfy his curiosity. He felt deeply for the teenager as he heard the sheer stress coming from every time that he said he was fine and that everything was okay.

Lucas sighed heavily as he tossed the portable phone next to him on the couch. That single phone call had taken his last remaining mental and emotional strength. He brought his knees to his chest and curled up, hoping to ease some of the pain in his ravaged body.

He could feel the tears building up in his eyes as he remembered the stress of telling his mother that everything was fine. Because it wasn't. He wasn't fine, and the situation sure as hell wasn't fine.

The one thing that he had wanted to do was to run home and fall into his mother's loving embrace, but he knew that if she was informed about what had happened tohom, that she wouldn't even wasnt to be near him.

"Hey Luke" Nathan called to his brother as he watched his breathing get shallower and his expression change to a tired, devastated look. Apparently calling out to him like that wan't the best idea as Lucas stiffened greatly and ducked his head.

A shocked and terrified lucas heard the greeting that came from his brother, the one that was almost identical to the one from earlier that night.

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_"Hey Luke"_

_Lucas turned around to give whoever was talking to him a return greeting, but as he did, a burlap sack was thrown over his head and his arms were violently jerked behind his back and secured._

_"Get him in, come on, let's go..." An unknown voice ordered his assailants as he was unceremoniously thrown into the back of a car. _

_----------------------------_

Hearing those two words put together in that tone was just lik reliving what had happened to him. He knew that Nathan didn't mean it in a malicious way, but he couldn't help but to cringe at the greeting.

"Lucas, are you okay?"

Immediately when he heard the words come out of his mouth, he knew that they were stupid. Of course Lucas wasn't okay. Who would be?

He was tring to think about how to fix that little mistake as he saw Lucas give him a very dark look.

"I'm sorry Lucas, I didn't mean it like that, and I'm just not very food witht this type of thing..." Nathan rambled on as he watched his brother run his hand through his wet tousled hair in that attractive manner, meaning that he was nervous.

"_What the Hell? Attractive? Where is this coming from? Come on Nate, get it together. You only feel like this because you feel sorry for Lucas."_

"Yeah, whatever..."

"Well...I'm going upstairs real quick. I'll be right back." No response came from Lucas as Nathan waited for the reassurance that he would be okay.

Once upstairs in his room, Nathan went into his panic mode. His whole calm facade faded away as he stared at himself in the mirror.

His face had a few darker spots from Lucas's earlier session of freaking out. Some dried mud streaks lines parts of him, and most of all, he just looked plain tired.

He was tired of thinking how things could go so wrong so fast. It boggled his mind that a few mere hours ago he was at some lame party thinking about Haley, and now he was staying at his beach house with a devastated and ravaged Lucas, wondering if they would even make it through the night.

Nathan could even feel the sting of oncoming tears, but he would never admit that a situation could reduce him to tears.

"...I know why they did it..."

Shock and fear took over Nathan as he whipped his head around to find the mystery voice.

Lucas stood before him, his head bowed as it seemed it would forever be. Nathan's clothes hung off his body loosely as his face seemed gaunt.

Nathan examined his brother and saw the severely da,aged wrists. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from swearing about the bruised and lacerated appendages.

"What?" Nathan spoke softly to him, trying to hide the rage and exhaustion from entering his voice. He didn't need Lucas worrying about him.

"I know why they did that to me..."

Lucas's voice seemed almost meek as he spoke. Nathan decided to take the bait and ask why, even though he knew that there was no real valid reason for the vicious attack.

"Why?"

Lucas sighed, wondering why he thought he was ready to tell Nathan this. He wasn't sure how the other boy would take it, but he just hoped that he wouldn't get hurt once Nathan knew the real truth.

"They did it because they knew I was gay."

Out of all the possibilities that Nathan had run through, he had been the last one that he had expected.

"What?" He had to make sure he heard right. There was no way that his half-brother was gay. He was sure of it.

"I'm gay." Lucas struggled to say it again. One time was more than enough. Why was Nathan putting him through the torture of repeating the fact.

Nathan didn't believe it. HIs only brother, his only sibling was gay. One part of him had already accepted his suffering brother's sexuality, but unfortunately, that wasn't the side of him that usually showed.

His side that cared about reality and other people's reactions was the side that wouldn't accept it, and of course, this side was the one that got him accepted and worshipped at school/

"You're not gay." Nathan spoke without even looking at his brother. He busied himself with looking through his drawers for an unknown object, but if he had looked up, he would have seen the crest fallen expression that crossed Lucas's face.

"Nathan...I'm gay and I just thought you deserved to know." Nathan's statement was devastation for Lucas. Clearly Nathan detested the fact that he was homosexual, meaning that there was little to no chane that the other boy would reciprocate his more than friendly and brotherly feelings.

"Shut up, you are not gay. You're just upset and that's the only thing making you think like this." Nathan's words came out harsher than expected as he finally looked up at Lucas and noticed his face.

There were many emotions making up his mask, but the most distinguishable one that he could see was bitter realization.

Nathan regretted being so harsh wit his half-brother on this traumatic night, but he couldn't accept something so shocking. And who knew, maybe it was the tragedy that was clouding Lucas's judgement.

Or maybe it was completely true and he had just crushed Lucas's hopes for acceptance.

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His entire body ached...

His self-esteem shot...

His spirit dead...

Lucas lay awake, his eyes wide open as he stared at the grandfather clock, watching the minutes go by and counting the gongs every so often.

He knew that no sleep would grace him on this night, and frankly, he didn't want to sleep. He didn't want the demons and the fears associated with the darkness of sleep.

A lamp was dimly lit in the room; lightly he chatised himself for being so childish as to need a night light at age sixteen.

But he would rather lay awake in the light than wonder what evils lay in wake of the darkness.

A loud gong sounded throughout the house, startling Lucas. He counted along with each passing gong, a sign of the hours that had passed.

One..Two..Three...

"Damn, only three in the morning." Lucas cursed in his head. He had been hoping that it was much later than that. All he wanted to do was to wait until his mom opened the cafe and then go home and wallow in all of his self-pity.

For this one time, Lucas wouldn't be ashamed about wallowing. Before, he'd always made a point of not worrying about himself, but instead of worrying about others. But this time, he wouldn't worry about anything other than his own pain and anguish.

His anguish from his attack, and his anguish over Nathan's rejection of his sexuality and his feeling had Lucas feeling like his heart feeling like it was bleeding.

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Nathan heard the seagulls squawking outside the large windows in his beach house and groaned, instantly wondering how he ended up here.

Normally he would have a naked girl in his bed with him, but when he felt the side of the bed next to him and found only an empty bed, his memory started coming back to him.

A naked Lucas bound and raped, too frightened to be touched. He remembered trying to coax the same boy to follow him and ensure that he wasn't trying to hurt him.

-------------------

_"They did it to me because they knew I was gay."_

_"Shut up Lucas. You're not gay."_

_-------------------_

Nathan recalled that part vividly and cringed as he realized how harsh his tone had been. His brother didn't deserve to have such a tone thrown at him at a vulnerable time like that had been.

He rolled out of bed and placed a shirt over his head. He had no idea what to do now. Was he supposed to keep Lucas until he was ready to go home, or was he supposed to just take him home and get on with his life.

Once he was downstairs and in the living room, he searched around to find his brother.

The sheets that lay on the couch were wrinkled from usage as Nathan found himself wondering if his brother got any sleep last night, and whether he had run away from the beach house or not.

Panic filled Nathan as he thought about all of the worst case scenarios. What if Lucas had run off to the police to turn the team in? What if he had been kidnapped again? And what if Lucas had tried to hurt himself in all of his agony?

"Luke? Lucas, where are you?" Nathan telled throughout the house. He searched the whole bottom story of the house before a figure that loomed outside stopped him in his tracks.

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Lucas sat outside on the beach, curled up in his little ball, trying to lose his memories in the hypnotizing tide that came forward and backward.

Many people would say that he was doing his trademark brooding in this position. He knew that Haley would probably make a joke about him being more serious about life than her parents.

Haley...

The name would have brought a smile to his face if he didn't doubt that he could ever smile again. He had completely forgotten his plans with her to see one of their favorite movies at the local theatre, "Attack of The 50 Foot Woman"

Now that he recalled it, he had been on his way to meet Haley when he got attacked and violated.

It hurt him to even think of these words and actions.

Why couldn't he have just left his house a few minutes earlier or later? Why couldn't things just have gone right for once and let him just go see the movie with Haley? Would any of those things even made a difference?

The morning ocean breeze cut through his loose shirt and pants, sending a chill down his body. He knew that he should be freezing cold and shivering, but right now he was having trouble feeling anything but pain.

"Lucas? What the Hell are you doing out here?"

A voice behind him startled him out of his catatonic state, making his defenses instantly go up.

The voice brought a different sadness to his shattered soul. It was different from the agony that was brought from his attack.

He was still thinking of the possibility that Nathan had been responsible for this particularly personal hazing attack. And last night when he tried to show Nathan who he really was, he was yelled at and turned away.

Clearly Nathan was no a homosexual and had no chance of ever returning his feelings of longing.

"Luke...Are you okay?" He heard the voice of his brother behind him and went back into his catatonic state of not reacting to his surroundings.

He really wished that Nathan would stop asking him that question. He knew that his half-brother meant well, but he couldn't really answer it.

What was he even supposed to say to that?

"Yeah Nate, I'm fine and dandy. I've gotten over brutal violation with in a few hours. Want to go play some basketball?"

Lucas just decided to continue to be unresponsive. He figured that it was the best way to deal with the situation at hand.

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Nathan was stumped as what to do with his brother as the other boy say in the sand, unmoving and without an expression on his face.

Once again, he asked Lucas if he was okay, and once again, he wanted to shove his foot in his mouth. But he thought he got away with it when he saw no change in Lucas's face.

Nathan shivered as the wind cut through his body; he wrapped his arms around his chest and peered away from the sunrise and back to Lucas.

He could see the goose bumps dotting his skin and making the hair on the blonde boy's arms rise up in the chill. It was then that he noticed that Lucas was lightly shaking from the cold conditions on the beach.

"Let' go inside, it's kind of cold out here." Nathan noted ans hoped that he wouldn't have to resort to luring his brother into the house like he had done the previous night.

Luckily though, as soon as he stood up and began walking away, he heard the rustling of clothing that indicated that Lucas was following.

He turned and looked behind him at Lucas and cringed when he saw how bad of shape that his body was in.

Lucas was walking very awkwardly, looking extremely sore, but he wouldn't mention it to him, in fear of upsetting him and causing another outburst like the one last night after Nathan had so carelessly grabbed him.

Inside the beach house, Lucas took a very tentative seat on one of the kitchen chairs.

The whole bottom half of his body was in pain, along with his shoulder sockets from the harsh handling the night before.

"Are you hungry?" Nathan hesitantly asked Lucas in an attempt to force him to communicate.

Lucas nearly gagged at the mere mention of food. He could still taste the murky creek water that had seeped into his mouth after being thrown into the water.

He could barely believe that the previous night that he had been looking forward to eating buttery popcorn, with sodas and then going to his mom's cafe for some of her famous rich chocolate cake.

At this point of thought, Lucas had no doubt that if he hadn't already drained his stomach of all its contents, then he would be hunched over the toilet, painfully heaving his guts out.

Nathan's hope drained a little bit more when he saw the slight shake of Lucas's head, signaling that food was not one of his priorities.

"I want to go home."

Nathan was struck with shock mid swallow of his cereal when he heard the first words of the morning come from his seemingly mute companion.

He knew that it was only reasonable that Lucas would want to go home after such a traumatic event, but in some selfish way, he didn't want him to go.

In some way, he felt like Lucas's recovery was his responsibility and his only, and he almost felt some pride that he was doing his brother some good after causing him so much pain.

"Uh yeah, sure, I'll drive you home, just let me get dressed first." Nathan put his used cereal bowl and spoon into the dishwasher. He peered back at his brother form over his shoulder.

Lucas was staring at him in a longing, yet guarded look in his nearly lifeless eyes. Nathan noticed that immediately when he ws caught staring that Lucas converted his eyes back down to the granite counter.

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By the time that Nathan had left the room, Lucas was about to the point of cursing himself for acting so vulnerable.

How much of a stupid ass could he be?

What kind of person that had any sort of common sense would tell his worst enemy that he was gay, and then have the nerve to expect any sort of acceptance? And then to stare at that same enemy like a little school girl with a crush!

Lucas was well aware that he had just set himself up for more than just illegitimate and bastard jokes at school now.

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"It's the fourth house on the left."

Nathan nodded while he drove his SUV through the other side of town to drive Lucas home.

He had been more than surprised as his brother gave him directions. The side of town that he lived on was not what Nathan was used to.

The neighborhood was literally on the wrong side of the tracks and as the houses got smaller and the surroundings bleaker, he grew to understand just what his father had done to Lucas and his mother by abandoning them.

He also began to regret all of the street trash and the poor snubs that he used to rub in Lucas's face during school.

The neighborhood that he was currently driving through wasn't as seedy as some in Tree Hill, but the houses were still miniscule compared to where Nathan lived.

Screeching brakes sounded as Nathan pulled his car to a stop in front of the house that Lucas had indicated.

The awkwardness suddenly became very apparent in the car as Lucas hesitated to get out of the car. He had no idea what to say or do.

Was he supposed to just say thanks and leave?

That made the whole situation sound very nonchalant while it was really such a major traumatic event.

Peering up from his blonde lockes, Lucas wanted to see what Nathan' reactions were. The only thing he dreaded seeing was an indifferent look.

If indifference was what convered those gorgeous blue eyes, Luca was sure that the only part of him that held any hope of him and Nathan being more than enemies would shatter permanently. Because it would mean that the only reason his half-brother was even doing this was because he felt guilty that such a hazing prank had gone so far beyond all limitations.

But as his eyes spotted Nathan's, he was shocked to in fact find a guilty looking face. It devastated him.

So Nathan didn't really want to do this to help him at all. All he was to Nathan was a burden, and those few nice words had been a lie.

"Thanks..."

Lucas mumbled, trying not to include his anguish in his tone of voice. He quickly got out of the car and walked as fast as he could without agitating his injuries, wanting to just escape into his room for the comfort that the familiar surroundings offered him.

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Nathan continues watching his brother's house in amazement that one decision made seventeen years ago could have such drastic and lasting consequences.

Guilt was one of the only distingushable emotions that Nathan could pull out of the mess that he was at the moment.

It was guilt that his father chose him and his mother over Lucas and Karen. There was guilt that he got to have all of the opportunities while Lucas was only given one chance on a whim from their coach.

Out of nowhere he heard a barely audible thank yo before the car door slammed.

Jerking his head over to the disturbance, he saw a clearly distraught Lucas hobbling to his front door, where he reached under the door mat to find the bronze key that went into the front door.

Nathan wanted to call out to Lucas and say something, anything really, but it came to him that there was nothing to say. He had planned the kidnapping in the first place, and he had planned many of other pranks too.

But he hadn't meant for this one to get so far out of hand. It wasn't supposed to include rape.

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Lucas slammed the front door to his house as hard as he could and slid down to the floor on the other side of it.

The smells of lemon detergent and floral decorations greeted his senses, granting him some semblance of comfort. He liked these scents more than the stiff smell of new leather furniture and ocean air that the beach house provided. And he liked it so much better than the rank stench of mud and murky water that haunted his nostrils.

For a few moments, he just rested on the wood floor of the entry way, swallowing back his emotions and attempting to deaden his senses to block out all the touches, sights, smells, sounds and tastes that so cruelly reminded him of the horrid attack that his body suffered.

The sight of the car driving away in the darkness, leaving him all alone with his pain...

The brutal touches that came from his assailants as they beat him and violated him...

The sounds of skin hitting skin, and zippers being pulled down, along with denim being removed...

The smell of the sweaty boys and the mud that he had been thrown down on to before he knew the extent of the attack...

The tastes of blood as Lucas bit the inside cheeks of his mouth and the murky water that had flowed into his mouth...

Each and every vivid sense made Lucas's breathing heavy and laborious in the attempt to stop the tears from flowing down his face in rivers.

Minutes later, Lucas gained the strength to stand up and walk over to the kitchen table to where he knew that his mother would leave a note for him.

And he was right. A piece of floral decorated paper lay on the kitchen table, along with a piece of the chocolate cake that he had been so looking forward to the night before.

_"Luke sweetie, I hope that everything went okay with you and Nathan last night, you sounded very upset on the phone last night and I am just worried. I'm working an all day shift at the cafe today and I won't be home until late. I hope that you'll come by and see me today, I want to see my baby. I left you some of your favorite chocolate cake from last night, I know that it always makes you feel better. I love you baby, Mom_

_P.S, Haley isn't very happy that you ditched her last night. I suggest that you call and fix that as soon as you can."_

Lucas wanted to crack a smile at the note, he really did, but the facial muscles just wouldn't work. He couldn't find the strength in himself to grin at the dry humor that the post note left.

Tossing the note back on the table, Lucas stared at the rich brown color of the cake in front of him. His mother was right, the sweet food nearly always put him in a better mood. But today he could hardly bear to look at it without gagging from memories of what could have been a nice and peaceful night.

Re-reading the note a few more times and relishing in the nice words of love that his mother left him, Lucas began to feel guilty. Normally he would have never hesitated to make his way down to his mother's cafe to spend time with her, maybe helpher wait on a few tables, but today, his strength was just too far gone to pretend that everything was okay.

Because nothing was...and it didn't seem like it ever would be again...

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Thanks again to Miss Meehan for permission to use her plot.


	4. Every Ounce Of Me Screaming Out

Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _One Tree Hill_ are properties of Mark Schwahn, and CBS Warner Televison. No copyright infringement intended. All plot credits go to Miss Meehan.

Warnings: Rape plot, Homosexual Relations, Swearing.

An Unkindness Of Ravens

Chapter 3

Every Ounce Of Me Screaming Out

Hanging up her apron and double checking to make sure that all appliances were off, Karen Rowe walked to the front of her cafe where her favorite employee was balancing the cash register.

Karen smiled at the girl. She considered Haley James as her daughter in many ways and the proud mother feeling was in her stomach as she watched her finish up on the register.

"Okay Haley, we're done for today. Thanks for working the whole shift today, I knew that today would be busy and right now, Lucas hasn't been the most reliable, so you're my go to girl." Karen put on her jacket and walked over to the counter where Haley shut the cash register.

"Yeah, speaking of Lucas? Where was he today? I expected that after he ditched me last night that he would at least come in and offer to take my shift for me." Haley laughed as she put her 'ugly green hat' on her head and began locking doors and flipping off lights with Karen.

"I don't know Haley, but I thought that he would call me after he got home this morning. He spent the night at Nathan's house and I'm just really worried about him."

This was not like Lucas. Normally, he would come to the cafe on Saturdays and help out with the rush of customers, and then all three of them would have a peaceful dinner. But where was her boy?

"He was at Nathan's?" Haley sounded shocked at the fact. No wonder Lucas hadn't shown up today, Nathan had probably kidnapped and killed him or something of the sort. This previous week, they had been in a fight in class, drenched Lucas's clothes, along with numerous threats of bodily harm. What had possesed Lucas to be at Nathan's?

"I got a call from him late last night, and he said that he was staying the night at Nathan's.He didn't tell me why though." Karen didn't speak her feelings that something was horribly wrong with her boy. When she had spoken to him, he had sounded broken, and just plain hurt.

"So I got ditched for Nathan last night? Lucas is just getting in more and more trouble. I'll see you tomorrow Karen. Tell Luke that I said hi." Karen waved goodbye to Haley, a smile upturning her lips.

Haley James was certainly something special in her and Lucas's life. Her role of surrogate daughter to Karen because of her busy family, and her very important role of Lucas's best and essentially only friend. Sure her son had a few other people that he hung out with, but they were more buddies, and not best friends.

Karen had always feared since Lucas was a small child that because of his heritage, he would never find someone to be his friend. She knew how vicious gossip was in Tree Hill, and how much the parents of Tree Hill influenced their children on who they hang out with.

And for awhile, she had been right. Even in the primary grades, Lucas's quiet loner nature had set him apart from most of the other children. He came home from school each day, a little bit more discouraged. It broke her heart to see that discouragment on a five year old's face.

Them came along little nerdy Haley James.

From the first moment she entered their lives, Haley James had shaken up their existence, making every day more interesting.

The day that Lucas had come home from school, a mischievous expression planted on his face. When she had asked him about it, he was hesitant about telling her, almost as if his new and only friend was going to be taken away from him if he told.

From the first day that Lucas had told her about Haley, Karen felt uneasy. It wasn't that she didn't want her baby to have friends, it was her nerves of this little girl's parents.

She didn't want to know how Lucas would feel if Haley told her parents about her new friend, and they just happened to know about her history with Dan Scott. Her little boy's heart would be shattered, probably irrepairably damaged if his only friend was to be taken away from him.

But of course Karen had been pleasantly surprised when she visited Haley James's parents, and they had no concerns about Haley being friends with Dan Scott's illegitimate child.

_"But that doesn't make him his father. And besides, from Haley-Bop has told us, he's a little sweetheart."_

Those words meant the world to Karen. She had found some of the only people in Tree Hill that didn't care if Lucas was Dan Scott's illegitimate child, or if he was born in wed-lock.

And that friendship lasted through many trials. Through the gender difference, the teasing and taunting that they both recieved, and through growing up. She only hoped that Lucas's joining the basketball team, and effectively joining a clique wouldn't tear their friendship apart.

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"Lucas sweetie, are you home?"

The sudden disturbance in the silence brought Lucas out of silent trance of staring at the ceiling of his room. He had been laying in the same spot since he had gotten up the strength to walk to his room.

His eyes were dry and sore from the lack of blinking in his effort to keep his tears from spilling onto his face. And his hands hurt from gripping his sheets so tightly in trying to not have a tantrum and destroy his room.

Lucas's rage was being repressed in blind pain and anger. He knew that the right thing to do was to go to his Mom and talk about this and get these destructive feelings out of his system, but he just couldn't do it.

His shame about the experience, and his feelings of protectivness about his Mom were keeping him from going to her. He didn't want to have to see the expression on his Mom's face when he told her that he was gang raped.

The expression, he knew would hold all of the feelings that he didn't want to see. All of the pity that Lucas didn't want to deal with. And the one thing that he dreaded was that his Mom, once she knew, would go to the police.

He couldn't take it if his Mom were to go to the police. Then the whole police force would know of his shame, and then the trial, having to see the faces of his assailants...

But then again, he would have to see those same faces on Monday morning at school, and he would have to feel them slam into him at practice with their cheap shots, and he would have to shower and show the whole team his bruised and mangled body.

Tears of fear that he couldn't hold back spilled down his face. His face, tender from the previous night's tears, stung at the salty drops flowing down in rivers.

"Lucas?..." My Mom's voice was louder and clearer. Lucas knew that she was in his doorway, and it startled him. She couldn't see his tears! Then she would know that something was dreadfully wrong with him. He hadn't cried since he found out the cruel truth about his parents, or rather, his father.

In one swift motion, Lucas turned so he was laying on his stomach with his pillow over his head. It wasn't the most subtle way to hide that he was upset, in fact, his Mom would be even more suspicious. But it was worth the risk of Karen noticing his tears.

"Lucas, sweetheart. What's wrong?" Karen rushed forward to her son's bed, where he laid, face down, his head under a pillow, wearing a set of unfamiliar clothes. He was completely unresponsive with her as he layed as still as he could on the bed. Only the rise and fall of his back indicated that he was alive.

Karen stayed in her position for almost ten minutes, rubbing her son's back to hopefully soothe him and coax him to tell her what was bothering him. But as Lucas didn't make any move, it became apparent that he didn't want to talk to her about it right now.

"I love you Lucas. Good night." When he still showed no response, Karen kissed the back of his neck and rose from his bed, moisture stinging her eyes.

What exactly happened to her baby boy to make him hide from her?

Back in the kitchen, Karen sat her head in her hands and continued to ponder about how much her boy had changed in the few weeks since he had joined the basketball team.

He was quieter than usual, leaving him almost mute, he didn't spend as much time at home or at the cafe with her, Keith had said that he was having to miss work some days, and now this new development. She was feeling like she had lost her little boy.

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The Sunday morning sun rose brightly the next day, shining into the room of Lucas Scott.

Lucas was in a restless and fitful sleep. His body was contorted in an uncomfortable position with exhaustion painted all over his pale and sickly face.

As he woke up for what seemed like the millionith time, Lucas decided that there was no point in attempting to go back to sleep. He was more tired now than when he had dried his tears and tried to sleep the previous night.

Sitting up gingerly, Lucas looked down at his body. The lacerations that smudged his wrists had grown larger and took up more of his forearms, and a few more colors had been added. He also noticed the different clothes he was wearing.

One of Nathan's many different Nike warm up suits had been lended to him the previous day, and was still on his body. The expensive fabric that held to Nathan's body in all of the right places, hung off of his body like a potato sack. He wanted to change out of the loose clothing and take a shower, but only one thing was stopping him...

His developing fear of mirrors.

Ever since he looked at his nude form in the mirror at Nathan's house on the night of his attack, and saw the marks that were shaped like hand prints, and the bruises on his torso that had forced him to submit, he couldn't muster up the guts to take another look at the atrocity that was his body.

_"Faggot!"_

That one harsh work still rang in his ears, reminding him of the harsh violation and beating he took. The combonation of the letters that took on such a terrible meaning made his body hurt. And it only reminded him of the rejection of his homosexuality in all areas of his life.

Before the attack and Nathan's severe rejection that night, Lucas had always held a little candle of hope that maybe him being gay wouldn't have such a tumultuous effect on his life.

And to think, he had even considered telling his Mom and Haley. Those plans were crushed under the weight of everything that happened in the past 36 hours.

That same candle had also held his hope for any sort of acceptance from Nathan. All he desired was some sort of reaction that didn't involve hurtful words and anger. But hey, at least Nathan hadn't punched him and voiced his utter disgust at the idea of his half-brother being gay and infatuated with him.

The only thing that he said was that he wasn't gay and that the only reason that he was having these impure thoughts was because of the trauma that he had endured, and that he was trying to make sense of it all.

"Knock, knock!" A perky voice broke the silence of his room, startling him to the point of falling off his bed.

"Oops, sorry Luke." Haley James bursted into the room of her best friend, fully intending on giving him some sort of punishment for his abandonment of her for Nathan on Friday night. But as soon as she saw the the bags under his eyes, and the clothes that clearly didn't belong to him, she knew that something wasn't completely right.

And she grew even more concerned when he seemed to be in pain while getting off of the floor. His face was straining to shove back whatever Lucas was feeling.

Once on the bed, Lucas hoped that his face hadn't betrayed any of what he was feeling. He didn't want to show Haley that something was wrong with him.

"Hey Hales, what's up?" Lucas tried to play it cool that there was nothing wrong with him, hoping that Haley wouldn't mention his difficulties and his different choice in clothing. He knew that his attitude would grow overly hostile the second that someone would mention the differences in his behavior, and he didn't want to get mad at Haley and push her away.

Haley wasn't really buying the fake half-smile that upturned the lips of her best friend. She was tempted to not let it go, and to confront him about his strange behavior, but she knew that if she pushed Lucas too much on this issue, that he would shut down completely.

"Oh nothing, I was just here to visit my best friend. You might know him, you know, the ass that ditched me for his devil spawn half-brother when we had movie plans." Haley sat on the bed next to her friend, gaging his reaction from the look in his eyes and his body language.

A familiar haunted expression appeared behind his eyes, but it was a different haunting, one other than when Lucas's illegitimacy and his other family was mentioned. She couldn't quite put her finger on it though.

"Are you okay Lucas?" She asked him, slighly concerned that he wouldn't look her in the eye. He usually wouldn't hesitate to trust her with his emotions.

"Yeah Hales, I'm fine. So, what's really up?" Lucas spoke, trying his best to get Haley's attention off of his odd behavior, and hoping for a drastic change in subject.

Judging by Lucas's tone of voice, Haley could see that he was desperate to drop the subject of his attitude.

"Where were you last night Luke? If you weren't going to come, or if you already had plans, you could have atleast called." Her tone turned serious, hoping that Lucas wouldn't bottle everything up and wait until it exploded in a flood of rage and pain, but knowing her best friend, that was most likely what was going to happen.

"I'm really sorry Hales. I know that I should have called, but I kind of ran into Nathan and we got talking about everything, and everything is all worked out now. No more hazing Hales."

Besides telling his Mother two nights ago that he was perfectly fine, this was one of the most difficult lies that he ever had to tell. He hated the lies that kept coming from him as a result of this situation.

It was all his fault though. If only he could have hid his homosexuality better, or better yet, if he could have just not been gay in the first place. He couldn't help wonder what his life would have been like if he could have only been normal.

Lucas could see himself still dealing with the hazing on the team, but he would be able to get past it probably, because he wouldn't have been attracted to the one that was doing it to him. He could picture himself being incredibly attracted to someone like Peyton Sawyer or Brooke Davis. There would still be conflict in his life, but none of it would compare to the devastation of a gang rape initiated by the one he desired so much.

In his state of deep thought, Lucas was barely aware of the sound of Haley's ecstatic voice, and her arms wrapping around him, hugging him in happiness. He couldn't bring himself to react to her showing of elation at getting rid of his hazing problems.

He really didn't know if the vicious hazing was over, but a part of him said that it was, because how could it get any worse than a gang rape? What more could they pile on to him that was worse than the violating attack? But another part of him was screaming that the real torture had just begun.

Nathan, his worst enemy and the person he was incestously attracted to, knew of his sexual preference. And that gave him the power to either have mercy on Lucas, or to spread the news all over the school and ruin the rest of his high school career and possibly the only friendships that he'd ever had.

"Okay Luke, I can see that you are having one of your brooding marathons today. I'm just going to head home. Call me if you want to hang out later." Lucas could hear the slightly disappointed tone that came from Haley, but he just couldn't find the strength in himself to do something about it.

Hearing the door to his room shut Lucas let out breath that he didn't even know he had been holding. He had been so tense and nervous when Haley had visited him, mostly because of the unrelenting shame that shrouded him.

Probably one of his worst fears at that moment was if Haley or his Mom were to find out of the humiliation and pain he had suffered. They were the two most important people in his life, and he was supposed to protect them.

What if they were to find out that he couldn't even protect himself?

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"Lucas, are you sure that you want to go to school today?"

The motherly tone that his Mom was using as he finished picking at his breakfast was making his decision of school more and more difficult by the second.

"Yeah Mom, I'm sure." His voice didn't hold the playful, loving tone that it had only a few days before. Instead his vioce sounded forced, as if any emotion that he put the sound was difficult and forced.

"These past few days Lucas, you've been really quiet, and you haven't eaten much. Are you sure you aren't feeling sick?" Karen immediately put her hand to her son's forehead. But she was unpleasantly shocked when Lucas fliched away at the unexpected contact.

"I have to get to school." Lucas stood up quickly and violently, almost knocking down the wooden chair down to the worn floors of the kitchen. Guilt flooded through his mind as he saw the slight expression of hurt in his Mom's eyes.

He hadn't meant to hurt her feelings, but the touch had been such a surprise as he had been staring down at his scrambled eggs, which he failed to take one bite out of. His assaulted body was still weary of touch and contact after the horribly violent contact he had experienced.

In reality, Lucas had no desire whatsoever to go to school. All he wanted to do was to stay home and cocoon in his blankets all day. He just wanted to drown in self-pity and never have to show his face to all the jocks on the basketball team again.

Of course there was the issue of never wanting to see Nathan again either. He didn't want to face the ebarrassment of the 'what if?' factor of Nathan telling of his sexuality.

But he kept telling himself that Nathan would never do that to him. He had saved him from that God forsaken creek where the hazing prank had been committed. And Nathan had even taken care of him afterwards instead of dumping him at the closest park bench.

And really, he had to go to school. Lucas just wanted things to have a semblance of normalcy that felt nothing like the living Hell that he had been trapped in these past few days.

Parking his truck and getting out, Lucas's chest heaved in and out in labored breaths. His hands were shaking and he could feel himself sweating profusely.

His nerves hadn't even been this bad on the first day of high school, or even with his first game with the Ravens. The reminder of the team that held the boys responsible for his current state frayed his nerves even further.

_"Its not too late Luke, you can still go home and play sick like your Mom wanted you to."_ Lucas told himself feverently as he stood by the door of his truck.

_"No, you will not be a coward. You will show your pitiful face to those guys that did this to you. You won't walk away from this Lucas."_ This wasn't the part of his mind and heart that Lucas really wanted to listen to, but it was the loudest and most convincing.

Lucas began walking towards the school slowly, dragging his feet as much as possible. In his mind he had to keep telling himself that he wasn't doing this for himself, but to hide everything from his Mom and Haley in order to sustain his position as their protector. If that position fell, Lucas didn't know who he would be.

Once inside the school, Lucas was thinking he had made the wrong decision. His fears of being touched was leaving him claustrophobic in the hallway that was filled with people bumping and brushing in to him accidentally.

Due to all the touch, Lucas was sent spiraling into memories of that awful night. He could feel the violent grabbing at his clothes, the rough groping, and finally his body slamming into the side of the car with agonizing force.

_"Faggot" _

Beads of sweat were falling down his forehead as conversations that were taking place all around him were drowned out by the two syllables echoing all around him.

Eventually what seemed like a million years later, Lucas reached his locker and frantically began dialing in the combonation to his lock. As his hands manipulated the lock, the long sleeve of his shirt slid back, revealing the wrist that was still very damaged from the bonds that had held him.

When the lock refused to open, Lucas leaned his head on the cool metal, liking the feeling against his feverish forehead. Catching his breath for a few moments, Lucas calmed down a little bit before turning around to look at his surroundings.

The moment that he turned his back to his locker, his breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. It made him wish that the floor below him would open up and swallow him. And most of all, the sight terrified him to his core.

Right across the hall from him, standing at their lockers were his assailants.

The boys on the basketball team were all standing across from him, laughing and joking like they hadn't recently shattered his spirit, ripped away his dignity, and stolen his pride.

Lucas's feet felt like they were glued to the groud as he unnoticed, stared at the boys across from him. His jaw had dropped in fright and all of the the sounds around him were silent. All except for the laughter from his assailants.

They were all talking and laughing about things that Lucas did not know about. He was too shell-shocked from the terror of the voices, who had the nigh before, called his name to force him into the trap of the prank.

_"Lucas!...Faggot!..."_

Suddenly, breathing became extremely difficult for Lucas, but he couldn't look away from the sight, but when Tim Smith seemed to catch on that someone was staring in his direction and turned his head to look straight at Lucas, something inside of Lucas snapped.

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Sorry for not updating. I have a few other stories, and I just got stuck on a scene and didn't feel like writing. I know that this is going a little bit slow right now, but I don't want to rush through Lucas's feelings. It will pick up really soon. Thanks for reading and please review. Broody


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